Sorry, dear...

My girl is searching for a male Dominant in her town. Now that I am not serving in that capacity, she misses serving, and she wants to find her own space in the D/s space without my overarching presence. Finding a male Dominant who is worthy of her, who speaks from integrity and not ego and in whom she wishes to invest is a laborious and challenging task.

She mentioned a new D prospect the other day. She said that he interested her and that they planned to meet. I didn't ask a lot of questions other than those that would help her make sure (and help me make sure) that he seemed safe and sane. We are both invested in her gaining independence, and that requires me to stay out of the way...not particularly easy for either of us, but we are working on this dynamic change.

Speaking with her evening before last, I have no idea why I started to wonder, so I asked her his last name, which she provided. I immediately flashed on the times when he and I and an old lover of mine and another femme lover of ours were together. He wasn't a D then, and never mentioned BDSM at all. I told my girl that I knew him in the biblical sense and she said, "But he didn't recognize your name!" I reminded her that I changed my entire name in the ensuing years.

She was monumentally frustrated that seemingly yet again, I'd gotten someplace first. I said, "Ah, but honey, you are the first to get him in the kink sense!" She was not mollified by that. She told me that she needed to start keeping an Excel spreadsheet of my exploits. I said that would be easy, as the names I can remember are only those who make a lasting impression, and they are few.* But, heck, at least her D made THAT list!

She was then vexed at the prospect of whether to tell him who I am. This mystified me (and still does). I suggested that she bears him exactly ZERO responsibility to confess her lovers, former or current, and the fact that there is some slop over between the three of us is absolutely of no import. I asked if he had confessed his partners to her and she said no.

As always she will make her way, and I hope for her happiness and her safety. I also hope that this man treats her with respect and that he is worthy of the gift of her submission, should she choose to give him the honor of the gift. He'd damned well better treat her well.