True Believers

"The constant assertion of belief is an indication of fear. " Jiddu Krishnamurti

One week before the election and the fear from the conservative side of the aisle, at least from the fringe wing continues to mount. The "true believers" are out in force.

Likewise, progressives. We are petrified to lose this one. The stakes are high, indeed.

If we follow Krishnamurti's path, we will ALL live in the moment and we will all be without fear. Notice, do not fracture through analysis. Breathe and be.

Fuzzing Up the Lines

Why are we so afraid of fuzzy lines? Humans seem propelled to want strict definitions of our realities. We spend an extraordinary amount of energy trying to be clear, to understand, to create consensus. No matter whether it's work, play, or personal lives, the desire to define and understand is great. No sooner do we define than we begin coming up with ways to cheat the definition. Monogamy comes to mind. It is not news that there is tremendous angst about this social model. Every time I encounter someone struggling within its bounds, I ask about why they don't enter into a discussion about fuzzing up the lines. Invariably the answer is some derivation of "S/he would never be able to handle it." When asked if the subject has been broached, the answer is frequently, "I wouldn't do that." Instead, the person to whom I'm speaking would prefer to quietly step outside the bounds of the arrangement. I wonder, of the millions who do engage in stepping out, how many of their spouse/partners truly ARE clueless. When one's partner's energy becomes other-directed, is it most often not noted by a spouse? Seems doubtful. With subtle undercurrents operating, how long does it take to begin eroding the core of the relationship?

Relationships are meant to be built to withstand hard stuff, right? Why, when at a crossroads for such a discussion, do people avoid he conversation? Huh. Compensatory behaviors are expensive in the end. Conflict aversion trumps honesty a lot of the time.

The land of non-monogamy requires a deep commitment to full disclosure; to recognizing that jealousy is a mask for fear, fear for anger, and that the only way to deal with that package of behaviors is through getting right into the middle of them. No shortcuts, dive in. And trust that the work done to date to build a strong foundation will see you through. It's not as though non-monogamy requires anomie. Indeed, it still requires a clear commitment to simply a different set of rules. The lines are just fuzzier.