Have You Tuned Your Trandar Lately?

A friend observed the other day that I've developed good "trannydar," which I edited to trandar. Sometimes when I see a man, I see his face with makeup on and I'm possessed to ask him whether he's ever considered dressing. I don't guess that is a common question. However, I've never one time been blown off when I ask. And so far, never been told "no." Of course I'm selective, but the affirmative answers makes me really wonder.

Sliding along the gender continuum is a helluva lot easier for women* than for men. A female can wake up in a negligee, change into jeans, a button down shirt, boots and no makeup, walk out the door and never get hassled. She comes home, takes a bath, and dons Versace, all sequins and slits and leg, perfect stockings and garter, then tucks into bed that night in boxers.

Were a male to try the same range of outwardly oriented gender display as expressed through clothes and makeup in public, he would very likely incur the wrath of someone. Even if he dared wear some black eyeliner (in which most men look scrumptious!) while wearing his regular work apparel, eyebrows would raise and he'd likely suffer consequences, particularly if he worked in a blue collar .... no, hell, forget that, no matter where he worked, unless he was a hair dresser or a rock musician ... he would be derided or much worse. (I know, I know, there are no doubt exceptions). And, of course, there are exceptions for women. Some would suffer repercussions for dressing in a manly way. Still, not the same.

I wonder, if we weren't so freakin' judgmental about differences, how much more slippery would ALL our places on the continuum be? How much more would you slide back and forth along that vast panoply of choices in lifestyle, gender, and sexual expression if you had no fear of reprisal? How differently would you live your life? I would love to know.

*Lemme just say that I am very aware of the struggles of transgendered folks, and my observations about the ease with which women can move without reprisal in no way is meant to make light of the internal struggles of an MtF as she struggles to express that which is within. I'm only speaking of the permissiveness afforded women (because women are generally seen as less important, hence less of a threat) than men in our outer expressions, not of the inner struggles of gender which any of us holds.