Cultural (In)competence and One Just Purely Odd Thing

Sunday morning, three text messages wishing me happy Easter. One from a relative, one a joke from Trident, and one from a dear friend, all of whom know that I'm a Jew. I gave Tri a ration for her well wishes, then kindly reminded the other two that Jews don't typically celebrate the marvel (or fantasy, depending on one's perspective) of the risen Christ. The relative's comment was, "I wasn't aware."

The friend said, "Really? You don't celebrate Easter?"

I said, "Gosh, no, do you celebrate Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot, Purim, or Yom Kippur?"

"Why would I do that?"

Yea, boy howdy, why would she?

On a different subject, this morning on the way to the office, a car driving down the road with a six foot high prickly pear cactus in a huge basket not at all tied down on its roof. It was a sedan, maybe a Subaru. I tried to get a picture and couldn't get the shot, sadly. I was too far away to holler at the driver. That sucker was BIG. Not a thing I'd want rolling off the roof and down in any direction. Did someone leave it there as a joke? Did the owner of the car run out of steam while moving and just forget? Too many possibilities to fathom.

Happy Monday.

It's in Your Mind...Things that Make You Go Hmm...

A young friend and I had a conversation last evening while writing and noshing on the best pie in the city. He said that he wanted to enter a deepthroating contest that evening and a party he was attending, but that he couldn't manage his gag reflex. I said, "Ah, it's easy. As soon as you figure out that the gag reflex is in your head and not your throat, you'll be fine. Just let yourself realize that you CAN breathe when you want to, and visualize yourself opening, and you'll be fine."

I was writing this afternoon, tucked in bed with my new niftospifto MacBook and my phone rang. It wasn't Trident so I was surprised, because other than Tri and my sister, folks text, they don't call. It was the heretofore mentioned young friend so excited I could barely make out his words. He asked me if I could guess who won the deep-throating contest last evening. "No kidding?" How big was the dude?"

"Ah, it wasn't a dude, it was a dildo."

"Bummer. Well, how big was the dildo?"

"Fourteen inches. I managed nine and a half."

"Jeezus, honey, that's pretty fabulous. What did you win?"

"The dildo!"

Life. Gotta freakin' love it.