Habitudes

I am searching for a new place to live. My dear housemate soon inherits a room or more full of stuff and the room in which the stuff will reside is the one in which I currently occupy space. The notion of finding a house in which to lay my head and hopefully to make a bit of a home is daunting. Who will have a one with as many adjectives preceding my name? How much information is enough to share and when do I get in to the TMI danger zone? Will I scare someone off the first time they hear the repetitive thud of the flogger or is it better to warn them ahead of time? Likewise, how much do my future housemates need to know about what exactly polyamorus means? Shall I furnish them with a list of definitions for all those troublesome adjectives?

Crap.

Off to craigslist I go to find people looking for housemates.

I answered this ad:

Looking for open minded female to share a SE home with male. High speed internet washer dryer and dishwasher. Please be a mature non smoker with no pets. thanks (sic)

After momentarily wondering what was an internet washer, I decided this seemed innocuous enough and I dropped a note.

I'm a mature (51) female who is a non-smoker, non-drinker, very open minded, equal parts brainiac and nutball. Very self-contained, quiet as a housemate, a writer with a day gig.

I received this reply.

You sound like a very nice lady. I am not far from where you work, so this would be close for you. I am a intellectual guy interested in many things and a few years older than you. At this time I am doing software development and I have my own web site where I sell my products. I would love to share my home and bed with you lets talk.

Remember what I said recently about life being good or good material? I read it again, yup. ...share my home and my bed with you... I live for moments like this. I ripped off an e-mail to my circle of maniac friends and we all had a fabulous laugh. They asked what I planned to do, and I said I intended to meet him, the house looked great!

I rang up later and he complimented me on my sexy voice (gack). I asked him where exactly his house was, and he assured me again that it was very close to my work. When I reiterated the question, he told me. The ad made it sound like he lived smack in the middle of my target area. But, he lives far south and not even in my city. He got more defensive as I pressed him, and I finally said, It was one thing for you to not be upfront in your ad about looking for a sexual partner in a roommate. That was at least entertaining. But, when you just lied about your location, now THAT pisses me off. Thanks anyway.